Stupid Stupid Doctor!

Okay, I know part of why I'm so pissed at her right now is because I've let my annoyance fester a little today, so things probably seem worse than they are. But damn it, once I'm done with this having a baby thing I don't think I'll ever see her again. Last week I had an appointment for 3:00 on Thursday. I used 1.5 hours of sick leave to drive an hour to the doctor's office when I was exhausted because I haven't been sleeping well because my hips hurt when I lie down too long and I get up to pee every two or so hours. When I get there (a bit late, I'll admit) the office was locked up for the day. So I sat in the lobby of the hospital and cried for an hour. I know there are a lot of worse things that could be happening, and in the grand scheme of things, a missed appointment is no big deal, but my patience is kinda thin right now.

So I call the office the next day to figure out what happened and the girl who answered said that the appointment had been canceled. So I asked why no one called me, and she had no idea, and agreed that they should have and was appropriately appalled at what happened and we scheduled me a new appointment for today and she said she'd make sure my doctor know about this.

So today I go to my appointment and we have the fun little exam, and I asked my doctor if she knew why my appointment was canceled and nobody called me. She explained that they canceled all the afternoon appointments because there was an emergency that needed tending to, but she was there and watched them call everyone on her list. Then she said, "It must have been a mistake, no one would have done that intentionally or maliciously. Are you on my list?" Okay, I wasn't trying to imply that there is a devious little Imp in her office canceling people's appointments at random to watch the chaos ensue. Of course it was a mistake, but she basically said, "But it was just a mistake, so it's okay." No, it's not okay! And, how the hell am I supposed to know whether or not I'm on her "list"? I said I don't know. She said that, as strange as it sounds, there are some people that aren't on her list because they just know to come in. So I want to know then, (and I didn't think to ask until much later, of course) do those not-list people just know not to come in too? She did eventually apologize, but it was more, "Oops, my bad" than sincere apology.

Then she started in on the inducing again. "I bet you are just so ready to have that baby. Are you sure you still don't want to induce?" Yes. I'm sure. Why do I need to induce? While I am very ready to have this baby, I'm still a week away from my due date. But when your doctor comes into the exam room and the first thing out of her mouth is, "Are you still pregnant?" and then she keeps putting on the pressure to induce, it really does make you feel a good week or two further along that you actually are. Then she tells me that she's going on vacation starting Thursday and coming back the following Friday, and I'd better not have the baby while she's gone. *Sigh* I understand that as an obstetrician if you're going to take any vacations, you'll probably be doing it over somebody's due date. Probably several somebodies. But damn it! Thanks for springing that on me! No, I'm not inducing to fit neatly on your daily planner! I want the most natural childbirth experience I can get, because it will feel so much more personal, and not like a medical procedure. Also, most people I've talked to (including the instructor for the labor and delivery class we went to) say that an induced labor can be a lot harder because your body wasn't given the chance to prepare. I hope the baby is born while she's gone, so her partner catches the baby, because I'm sick of her.

When I got home I looked around on the interweb for ideas on home induction remedies, because I am ready to have this baby and I am sick of waiting. Then I noticed that most of the people and sites and things were talking about inducing after the due date. That's when occurred to me that I'm not being really slow. I'm still right on schedule. There's really nothing to make a fuss over. In fact, according to most sites, most babies are born after their due dates, not a week before. So while I still really would like this baby to get here just as soon as she can, it's still okay if she takes a week or even two. My own doctor is making me feel rushed rushed rushed, and there's less than no reason for that. However, either I'll go into labor naturally before Thursday and I'll be happy with that, or I'll go into labor naturally while she's gone and I'll be happy with that too, or she'll get back on the 31st and want to induce shortly thereafter because she doesn't like them going past 41 weeks (that's when she considers the danger zone to begin). Even the last scenario is acceptable because I'll actually be a week late, and much more open to the idea at that point.

I'm sorry all my posts are stupid long. Apparently, if I have anything to say at all, I have a lot to say. Thank you for your patience.

39 weeks and still pregnant.

Well, Here I am, 1 week away from my due date and I feel like I'm hopelessly late. A few things have made me feel this way.

1) A while back my doctor said that she kind of expected me to have the baby as much as 2 weeks early. It had nothing to do with how I was progressing. It was just that, according to her, summer babies tend to be early because mothers get dehydrated and other similar reasons. Even though I'm pretty sure first time babies tend to be a little late, I emotionally took her at her word even if I rationally knew that it wasn't about me, it was about a trend she'd observed.

2) Everyone at work (especially my boss) is completely shocked that I'm still pregnant. Some of them seem a little appalled. My boss actually keeps hinting that she thinks I should induce. Keep in mind, these are the people I spend my time with from 7 am to 3:30 pm Monday through Friday. I'd love to just ignore them, but they are ALWAYS around. I'm not even technically due yet people! Chill out! Is late pregnancy obscene or something? Am I offending your delicate sensitivities? When they look at me and say "What are you still doing here?" or "You're back this morning?" or "Haven't you had that baby yet?" I've just started responding with, "I'm sorry." and leaving it at that. I know everyone, including my boss means well. She got little to no enjoyment out of her own pregnancies and what sticks out most in her mind about them is wishing they would finally end. I think I recently adequately explained to her that while I will be very happy to go into labor at any moment, I really am not having such a terrible time, and I'd like the pregnancy to move along at it's own natural pace.

Those are the bad outside pressure reasons. There are also good outside pressure reasons that make me feel hopelessly late.

3) My family and friends are just so excited they are fit to burst. Every time we call any of them, their first question is always, "Is it time yet?" or "Did she/you have the baby?" I actually really enjoy that because I know it's love and it's really great that they are so involved in my life. This event could sadly be celebrated alone, and is for some people in different circumstances. But my pregnancy/baby has it's/her own sizable cheering section and I love that.

4) Then there's Nathan. He, of course, has just as much invested in this pregnancy as I do and he is just like a little kid waiting for a really spectacular Christmas! And the adults won't even tell him when Christmas is! Left to my own devices, I'd be pretty excited about the baby getting here, but I just feel like there is still so much undone that needs doing, that the anticipation wouldn't sweep me away. But Nathan is just infectious. I can't help but be really excited with him around. I'm excited for him, for me, and for us! She's going to be so amazing! We're going to be a real live family! And besides, Eleanor will have graduated high school and there will still be things undone that need doing. Who cares?!

There's also the internal pressure. Get it? Internal pressure? Sorry.

5) My pregnancy has been, over all, a really easy one. There was the first trimester morning sickness, and my body got all cumbersome and weird, but that's to be expected. No big deal. Now though, she's just so big. Just her weight is really getting difficult to carry around. My hips keep doing funky painful things all the time, so it's really hard to walk, or sometime stand (and occasionally sit, in the past couple of days). I'm carrying her all straight out in front and have nothing to counterbalance her weight so my back is really starting to feel the pressure. There's just no room in here anymore, and she's going to get bigger, and I'm not growing to accommodate anymore. We're crushing each other, and I can't move.

But my due date is a week from tomorrow. I still have to wait a whole week before I'm right on schedule. Technically I could not go into labor for another 3 weeks before I'm officially "overdue". I want my baby in August. Not September. September is so far away.

Lint!

Well, I know I've officially lost my mind to this pregnancy thing. I did my baby's laundry for the first time the other day. You're supposed to wash all the clothes and blankets and stuff to get rid of any irritants. Well when I emptied the lint tray, I kid you not, it was the cutest lint I have ever seen! It was snowy and white, and just seemed so much softer and delicate than other lint. It was amazing. I felt so ridiculous, but I did have the impulse to keep the lint. Nathan's so funny, later when I told him he said that I could have kept it for him to see. We are in so much trouble.

Here's a couple of shadow pics, the first from 35 weeks and the second from 37 weeks:





And here's a picture of me sitting in an old chair. I love this chair, it's very comfy. Somewhere there's a picture of my Mom sitting in this chair when she was pregnant for me. (:



So yeah, that's me. That's all I really wanted to share today.

36 weeks and craziness

Okay, here's what happened with Lafayette, skip it if you already know all this:

I'm not transferring. I applied to 5 different positions in the Lafayette region and didn't get any of them. I only got 1 interview. But that's more than okay, because while we really do want to move before Eleanor is in Kindergarden, the biggest reason we were making a huge push was that:

A) Nathan and I were working opposing schedules, so we never saw each other except on Sundays and Mondays and they just recently took away our 10 hour days / 4 days a week privilege, so soon we were going to just have Sundays together. So without ever seeing Nathan, or anybody else really, I was beginning to get chronically lonely and was beginning to struggle with some serious depression issues. So if we moved to Lafayette, Nathan might find a job that wouldn't make him disappear, and even if that didn't work out, then I'd at least have my family around.

and B) Like I said, the plan is to move to Lafayette in the foreseeable future and there were 5 different openings that I might be able to transfer into with the same pay and same health benefits. Nathan would have to find a new job, but the other alternatives are to stay here forever, or to both quit our jobs and just move and hope for something. So it really seemed like the right thing to do.

However, even before I got an answer back from all 5 positions (No, are you kidding?, no, no, and no thank you) we decided that we weren't leaving because Nathan was offered a promotion from Guest Services Manager up to HR / Accounting Manager that has better pay and REGULAR OFFICE HOURS. So we keep my current pay, health insurance, and work environment that I'm familiar with, and Nathan gets a really nice opportunity to get more and better experience in the hotel industry, we get more money, I see my husband, and we don't have to pack all of our stuff, and leave the first home we ever made together standing on our own two feet. (I really do love this place, even if Natchitoches sometimes works my nerves.) I really think all the well wishes and prayers worked, because this whole thing did just come out of nowhere and save the day and it's even better than the move we were hoping for.

Okay, Pregnancy stuff:

All the websites and things seem to have this "homestretch" theme. Baby's getting fatter, should be dropping into the pelvis soon, will be at full term by the end of the week. The ultrasound we had about a week and a half ago indicated that she was, at that point, probably 5 lbs and 7 ounces. This past Wednesday my doctor said my cervix is dilated 1 cm and is paper thin. Which is apparently right on schedule. It's kinda scary. I'm dilated. Last night and most of today Eleanor has been squirmy squirmy. I've never felt her move this much before. I'm kinda surprised my belly hasn't visibly dropped or anything. Oh, and rolling over in bed last night seemed to aggravate a muscle or something because anytime I moved, unless very careful, I would be in pain for a good 5 minutes after. My nursery is little more than a pile of stuff in gift bags and a beautiful crib with no mattress, and I'm not packed for the hospital yet, but I plan on rectifying both of those things this weekend.

We have almost nothing prepared, but we're getting really excited. I'm not promising anything, but I hope to put some more pictures up very soon.