39 weeks and still pregnant.

Well, Here I am, 1 week away from my due date and I feel like I'm hopelessly late. A few things have made me feel this way.

1) A while back my doctor said that she kind of expected me to have the baby as much as 2 weeks early. It had nothing to do with how I was progressing. It was just that, according to her, summer babies tend to be early because mothers get dehydrated and other similar reasons. Even though I'm pretty sure first time babies tend to be a little late, I emotionally took her at her word even if I rationally knew that it wasn't about me, it was about a trend she'd observed.

2) Everyone at work (especially my boss) is completely shocked that I'm still pregnant. Some of them seem a little appalled. My boss actually keeps hinting that she thinks I should induce. Keep in mind, these are the people I spend my time with from 7 am to 3:30 pm Monday through Friday. I'd love to just ignore them, but they are ALWAYS around. I'm not even technically due yet people! Chill out! Is late pregnancy obscene or something? Am I offending your delicate sensitivities? When they look at me and say "What are you still doing here?" or "You're back this morning?" or "Haven't you had that baby yet?" I've just started responding with, "I'm sorry." and leaving it at that. I know everyone, including my boss means well. She got little to no enjoyment out of her own pregnancies and what sticks out most in her mind about them is wishing they would finally end. I think I recently adequately explained to her that while I will be very happy to go into labor at any moment, I really am not having such a terrible time, and I'd like the pregnancy to move along at it's own natural pace.

Those are the bad outside pressure reasons. There are also good outside pressure reasons that make me feel hopelessly late.

3) My family and friends are just so excited they are fit to burst. Every time we call any of them, their first question is always, "Is it time yet?" or "Did she/you have the baby?" I actually really enjoy that because I know it's love and it's really great that they are so involved in my life. This event could sadly be celebrated alone, and is for some people in different circumstances. But my pregnancy/baby has it's/her own sizable cheering section and I love that.

4) Then there's Nathan. He, of course, has just as much invested in this pregnancy as I do and he is just like a little kid waiting for a really spectacular Christmas! And the adults won't even tell him when Christmas is! Left to my own devices, I'd be pretty excited about the baby getting here, but I just feel like there is still so much undone that needs doing, that the anticipation wouldn't sweep me away. But Nathan is just infectious. I can't help but be really excited with him around. I'm excited for him, for me, and for us! She's going to be so amazing! We're going to be a real live family! And besides, Eleanor will have graduated high school and there will still be things undone that need doing. Who cares?!

There's also the internal pressure. Get it? Internal pressure? Sorry.

5) My pregnancy has been, over all, a really easy one. There was the first trimester morning sickness, and my body got all cumbersome and weird, but that's to be expected. No big deal. Now though, she's just so big. Just her weight is really getting difficult to carry around. My hips keep doing funky painful things all the time, so it's really hard to walk, or sometime stand (and occasionally sit, in the past couple of days). I'm carrying her all straight out in front and have nothing to counterbalance her weight so my back is really starting to feel the pressure. There's just no room in here anymore, and she's going to get bigger, and I'm not growing to accommodate anymore. We're crushing each other, and I can't move.

But my due date is a week from tomorrow. I still have to wait a whole week before I'm right on schedule. Technically I could not go into labor for another 3 weeks before I'm officially "overdue". I want my baby in August. Not September. September is so far away.